No Surprises: Why Great Managers Don't Wait to Share Feedback

Here’s a scenario: In a monthly department meeting, one of your direct reports is presenting a new project that will be rolled out to the company in the coming weeks. As the presentation rolls along, you start to notice a surprising number of “ums,” “uhs” and “you knows” peppering the address. One of your peers gives you a look. They’re hearing it too.

So, leader, what are you going to do about it? Consider a few options:

1. Make a mental note to bring it up in your next 1:1
2. File it away for the upcoming performance review
3. Hope it doesn’t happen again so you never have to bring it up

If option C has caught your attention, you might be among the 21% of leaders who admit to avoiding difficult feedback conversations - or the 44% who say feedback is stressful.

Delivering timely feedback is one of the most important skills a manager can develop - and one of the hardest. I've taught leadership skills for nearly a decade, and regardless of industry, geography, or level of experience, this challenge comes up every single time. We call them difficult conversations for good reason. They stress and strain us as we try to balance sharing meaningful information without harming the relationship.

As we turn the corner into the second half of the year, many of us are preparing for semi-annual performance evaluations. You may be facing the reality of delivering some challenging or uncomfortable feedback - perhaps something you could have shared sooner.

Most managers delay feedback for one of two reasons:

1. To avoid or delay discomfort for the employee
2. To avoid or delay discomfort for themselves

The cost of waiting isn't obvious at first. Small issues quietly become bigger problems. "Oops" turns into "Oh no." And in a cruel irony, the conversation you've been avoiding becomes even harder. "Can we talk about something from yesterday?" becomes: "Do you remember what happened three months ago?"

Or worse: "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

According to Gallup, employees want much, much more performance feedback than they are currently getting. While 35% of surveyed employees said they would like to receive meaningful feedback a few times a month, 23% say they receive feedback just a few times a year - and 5% said they get feedback annually (or less!).

The message is clear: employees don't want feedback once or twice a year. They want coaching while they still have time to act on it.

Timely Feedback Wins Because:

• Positive outcomes are reinforced
• Negative outcomes are identified and addressed quickly
• Relationships don’t suffer the injustice of “Why didn’t anyone tell me this?”

So, how do we break this cycle? Follow these steps:

Find a Feedback Model (or Two) That Fits You

Constructive feedback discussions are challenging for most leaders, but a model can offer confidence and guide you toward a desired result. Here are just a few to try out:

1. SBI-D - my personal favorite approach, this model calls out the Situation, the Behavior to reinforce or redirect, its Impact, and invites Discussion to clarify perspectives and determine appropriate next steps. (learn more)
2. CEDAR - created by Anna Wildman, this acronym reminds us to share Context, Examples, a root-cause Diagnosis, determine appropriate Actions, and Review the results
3. Stop, Start, Continue - this simple framework asks, “What am I currently doing that needs to stop, what am I not doing that I should start, and what am I doing that is helpful and should continue?”

Practice, Practice, Practice

Building the habit of giving feedback is a lot like building a muscle - the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. And, there’s a bonus: you will find that as it becomes easier to share the feedback, your employees will feel more and more comfortable receiving it (if you’re doing it well).

Here is where well-meaning managers get stuck: they forget to practice their feedback skills and only reach for the models in the most challenging of circumstances. As a result, they wind up looking like me on the golf course - I like to golf, but I never practice, and then I’m surprised when my swing looks like this:

The best performance reviews rarely contain surprises.

Remember: Your employees want regular feedback, and your top performers want it even more. When we do it well, feedback is perhaps the most reliable and cost-effective management tool available to us. But, it doesn’t work if we don’t practice! So get out there and test-drive a feedback model or two. Chances are, your employees will appreciate the input.